Fear is the Mind Killer!
I remember too well what it feels like to hold a fear in your heart that drives the way you act and think.
Image by Verda Yigit
Growing up in Roman Catholicism, it was made clear to us that only Roman Catholics could go to Heaven, and only those Catholics who followed the laws of the church and the teachings of Jesus Christ. Missing Mass on Sunday could land you in Hell.
We used to look across the street toward the kids at the State School and feel sad for them that they would never get to Heaven.
When I was 21, I finally allowed myself to look at the questions agitating my heart. First, why did they tell me I have free will, but I must do what I am told? Second, why did they tell me god loved all people, but only a select few could experience eternal life?
As I contemplated these things I realised I was drowning in bullshit. So, I walked out of church on a Sunday morning and never went back.
Many years later, following the brilliant teachings and tools of Harry Palmer, I realised, experientially, that Heaven is not a place. It is a state of being that anyone in this life can acquire if they are prepared to do the work.
It is funny. When you arrive there, and then re-read sections of the Bible, you realise “Ahh! That’s what it means!”
But the fear was there. It made me say no to things that I wanted to explore. It made me constantly second guess myself. And it often left me in a state of shame and guilt for doing the things that I did let myself do.
I have experiential clarity about how powerful people control the masses. It is brilliant. I see it everywhere, in Muslims, Mormons and many other religions. The Mormons are told that if they do not pay their tithes and go to Temple, they will not be re-united with their families in Heaven. That is so clever, and it has made a small number of people obscenely rich.
But none of this means the believers are bad people. Some of the nicest and kindest people I have ever met are religious, seeking to live a good and virtuous life.
I’m Too Educated to be Fooled!
The challenge today of course is that a huge number of people are very educated. I did not want to put the word “well” before educated because perhaps that would be false.
Filling one’s mind with knowledge is not really education if the person has not first been taught how to manage and operate their own mind. I’m yet to see a university course pop up titled “Mind Management 101”.
The blunt reality is that there are a lot of educated sheep in the world who have never stopped for a moment to explore their own most tightly held beliefs. The heartbreaking reality is that such people are easily controlled, becoming compliant without a whimper. I have little doubt that most just want to be good people, good citizens.
But a truly good citizen is one who fights for the benefit of all others, for safety, for the relief of suffering, for the prevention of tyranny and for the ongoing maintenance of personal freedom.
Binding oneself to the belief that a good citizen is a fully agreeable and compliant person is the ultimate expression of succumbing to fear and playing small, leaving one to live as not much more than a drone.
The trap is locked up with the statement “I am educated, and I know what I am talking about!”
I watched in horror during the pandemic when highly educated fools become the cruel and draconian enforcement arm of a despotic government.
Power and Control
If you ever read Leon Uris’s Trinity, you will know the story of what the Catholic Church did to the Irish people at the behest of the English. It was barbaric and soul destroying. The problem was that you cannot destroy a soul, particularly an Irish soul.
I used to ask myself, “What were the deals that were done? Who originated them? Who complied and why? What was the outcome? What was the powerplay?” Afterall, it was not done without reason.
Power is a thing that few people understand. When people are given power, most often, their ego becomes a little elevated. If it is not kept in check, soon it becomes drunk on that power, basking in its own glory, fueled by its own noxious gasses.
If you are unsure of what I refer to, look in any business where a person is elevated to a position of power without first being given the appropriate training. Or just look at some of the Australian State Premiers during the pandemic, e.g. Daniel Andrews, Mark McGowan and Annastacia Palaszczuk. They did terrible, inhumane things to people.
At the same time, we had an Australian Prime Minster who stepped away from his power, perhaps due to a lack of courage, and allowed the Premiers to do as they pleased.
We all see it too when young Islamic men are radicalized by leaders obsessed with power, then commit barbaric acts of violence on innocent people. We see it when heads of state murder their own people by the thousands, creating unbridled fear across their population.
Power can be a wonderful thing when used is service to a greater good. We celebrate the extraordinary courage of John F. Kennedy who said no to all his advisors and all the intelligence. He stayed with what he felt in his heart, against oppressive and overwhelming opposition, and got the job done. Nuclear war was prevented when so many powerful people wanted it.
To temper power and keep it under control, it must be matched with equal doses of humility and genuine selflessness. This is different to asserted selflessness.
This requires a journey of introspection and self-exploration. Looking inward, with patience, curiosity and interest, allows us to evaluate our own actions, intentions and beliefs. This is not a 5-minute exercise. Meditation can be a start, but it is little more than a calming strategy if there is no exploration.
If we are lucky enough to find a good teacher who can give us the understanding and the tools, like The Avatar® Course, we can go there, all the way.
When we take this journey, and we choose to have courage, we can begin to set our lives on a valuable path of service, personal power, discernment and leadership. Along this path, as we endure the humiliation of our transgressions and mistakes, we develop our own powerful moral compass that will become a sturdy and loyal guide in every moment.
This is not a path for the feint hearted. It takes enormous courage to face our own fears. As a kid, out of fear of violent punishment at home and at school, I became a very good liar. It became my compulsive response, a debilitating habit grown from fear. I avoided looking at it for years because I kept convincing myself I was an honest person.
When my resistance crumbled and it all fell apart in front of me, I got to experience the irrational fear I had been resisting and moved forward, more honest with myself and more honest with the world. It was a terrifying hurdle for me, but I made it.
I watched some people I worked with, deeply good people, who never went to their biggest hurdle. They did not have the courage. Eventually they ran, looking over their shoulder hurling criticism and derision, crazed in their desperation for self-consolation by making others around them wrong.
What is Happening in the World Today?
There will always be people who want power. Some will seek it, and more of it, because the feeling becomes beyond exhilaration. Others seek it so that they can do good work in the world. The more power they can get, the more good work they can do.
People say to me, “What is Bill Gates doing? Hasn’t he got enough money? I have a sense that Bill Gates knows he has enough money, but that is not what he is chasing. Power is his drug and perhaps his addiction overrules everything else.
If you think that the world no longer has people who are trying to control the game, like the Catholic Church for example, you are not looking hard enough. It is way too early for the rose-colored glasses.
The appetite some people have for power and status is insatiable and bottomless.
There are two main paths to power, big power. The first is to become so inspiring in your vision that people want to follow you. The other is to create fear that people will cower from and crave protection.
The first of these is rare, but we do see it often in sport where a great coach delivers a powerful vision that aligns a team.
The second, used by the great religions, has also been the “go to” in Politics, and elite classes.
Reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, one comes into close contact with these two vastly different types of power. On one side you have characters like Dagny Taggart. Francisco d'Anconia, John Galt, Hank Rearden, Eddie Willers and Ragnar Danneskjöld, who are creators, freedom lovers and devout industrialist who wish to do what they do, providing valuable goods, services, and employment for many.
On the other hand, their antagonists, James Taggart, Lillian Rearden, Dr. Floyd Ferris, Dr. Robert Stadler, and Wesley Mouch, driven by jealousy and an insatiable desire for social approval, fight to control everything and clip the wings of the industrialists.
It is fair to say the book delivers a somewhat utopian vision of the free market industrialists. History however shows many industrialists became greedy, intoxicated by wealth and power, and became abusive to their employees, suppliers and the natural environment.
Trade Unions were a powerful addition to the equation that helped to temper that power and bring support to the hapless workers.
But then, I do not need to look far, right here in Melbourne in fact, to see the damage done by a Trade Union that became too powerful and allegedly used that power to manipulate and bully construction companies, stealing hundreds of millions of dollars of public money.
A Lust for Status and Power
There is no short path to the achievement of a robust moral compass. The Catholic church tried hard to indoctrinate one into me, but it failed. You must do the work. Without it, you will never be able to look in the mirror and fully like who you see.
Important to note: This is not about being perfect or becoming some form of self-canonized saint. Everyone slips up and makes mistakes. Nobody is immune to the perils of the ego. But good people know these moments are just more fuel for growth, new areas to explore, exciting pathways to deeper learning, enlightenment and stability.
If you are reading this, you will know what I mean. If you have periods where you become deeply self-critical, which is vastly different from honest self-examination, the self-criticism is degrading but it might well be occurring because you are yet to do the real work. I’m not alleging you are a bad person. There might just be more work to do.
But sadly, many do not wish to go there. They would rather justify their own actions and profess the profound depth of their goodness to anyone who will listen. They will criticize others to gain relief from their own internal self-criticism. But their accusations and judgements clearly reveal their own sins.
Such people will often find a noble cause to embrace in a vain attempt to show the world how virtuous they are. This virtue signaling is only ever admired by others who are doing the same, collaborating in their synthetic sense of superiority over the truly virtuous ones who make them feel so uncomfortable.
Something incredible happens if the person is offered status. Importance can be so alluring. Self-importance is the trap. This presents a threshold where all forms of moral guidance fall by the wayside as all resources become consumed with the ongoing acquisition of this new and exciting drug.
The Pitfalls of Intellectualism:
Great scientists keep asking questions. Like the great industrialists in Rand’s novel, they want to keep pushing forward, questioning “truths”, exploring ideas, learning new things, expanding knowledge for all.
Existing in the same domain are the jealous ones who have found some power and wish to rest in the comfort of their position. Instead of exploring new, they find themselves seduced into tantalizing ideas that stimulate their thirst for a tribe, for inclusion, a place where they are not expected to extend themselves. This is the promised land of the lazy!
Marxism has been for years a “go to” because it sounds so credible and it is oppositional to the industrialists and creators. Jealousy is such a destructive vice, perhaps the most destructive of all. We see across the world how these University based academic intellectuals have become well organised mobs, glued together by profound delusion, a deep lust for status and power, and the approval of their masters and peers.
Over time, they have fortified themselves by taking over the entire administration of the University, cementing their power, safe from the evil industrialists and free thinkers.
The story unfolds to the point where the Professors abandon their educational duty and begin a covert and often not-so-covert operation of indoctrinating the most intelligent of a nation’s youth. If the kids have not come into the institution with an already intact moral compass, they become lambs to the slaughter.
How else can one begin to explain white middle class students violently rampaging against their Jewish fellow students, wearing Keffiyehs?
Who is Yuri Bezmenov?
Many years ago, Former Soviet KGB Agent, Yuri Bezmenov, revealed the Soviet strategy for “Ideological Subversion”, a powerful method of undermining American values to collapse its society. You can watch a 13-minute video here.
The technique is a long-term brain washing technique that comprises 4 stages, designed to change the perception of reality of every person. It is so effective that, even when you place abundant information directly in front of the person, they will refuse to see it. Nobody is able to come to sensible conclusions, in the interests of defending themselves, their family, their community and their country.
Stage 1 is Demoralization: This takes 15 to 20 years, the time it takes to educate one generation of students. Marxism and Leninism has been fed into the minds of at least six generations of western students, undermining the basic values of western civilization. Most of these people are now occupying the positions of power in large corporations, university leadership and government bureaucracies. These people are not redeemable. The only way to overcome their influence is to educate a new generation of people, championing western values.
Stage 2 is Destabilization: This takes 2 to 5 years and is focused heavily on the Economy, Defence Systems and Foreign Relations. It has been interesting to note that in the late 80’s, a time when Bezmenov professed that Stage one was already complete, America began engaging in all manner of foreign wars. Defence spending rose sharply and foreign debt began to explode. All of these things were destabilizing.
Stage 3 is Crisis: Once the ongoing wars, or forever wars as they are called, were in place, the Climate Crisis appeared. Alarmist predictions sent the world into panic. Sobering opposition to the narrative was crushed and entire industries swung into action to support the belief that the earth was indeed headed toward its demise. The fear consumed large populations, and they quietly handed over power to globalist initiatives to “save the planet”.
Bezmenov is right about the fact that incredible information can be put in front of people, and they will not see it, perhaps not even tolerate it. For example. In Australia, we are eliminating our Coal Fired Power Stations and restricting the use of Oil and Gas. But at the same time, we are exporting, at never-before-seen rates, Coal and Gas to India and China who are building power plants that are fuelled by fossil fuels. Nobody questions this.
The Final Stage is Normalization: This is where an Authoritarian Government seizes power. They deliver all sorts of promises that will never manifest. If required, they will use violent force to clamp down on dissent. At that point, the university academics may well feel betrayed and become radical but will be crushed as they are no longer useful in the process.
I laugh when I hear the Democrats allege that Trump will cancel future lections and call in the Military. Their accusations reveal all.
Look at America from the Outside:
It has happened. The Universities have been complete captured by Marxist Ideology. The country has been comprehensively destabilized by continuous, seemingly meaningless wars, exploding debt, extreme economic pressure and internal conflict built on DEI, a wolf in sheep’s clothing that masks its evil under the guise of “Beautiful and noble ideas of equality.
The Climate Crisis was working well until 2016 when Trump came to power. He was not part of the plan, so the Covid pandemic amplified the crisis, and he was soon gone. If he had not been successful the second time round, I do not believe it is a stretch to assume that the alternative government would have become the start of stage 4, Normalization. Perhaps it could have been America’s last election.
More about the Trump government later.
What Happened to The Democrats and The Labor Party.
I remember when I was at University, I was obliged to study some education electives. It was here I met an academic who disgusted me. It was clear that, as soon as I walked into his room, he had a disdain for me. I was a big powerful and confident Physical Education student. He was so leftist and superior in his ideas that he demanded I agree with him in my essays. I failed the subject because I could not play his game.
Have you ever wondered how, the Labor and Democrat parties that grew out of the labor movement, finished up being overpopulated with highly educated intellectuals. It is because the universities are fertile ground for vulnerable minds that want to venture into the realms of oppositional thinking. The grooming is as clever and is as easy as it is extraordinary.
Fully armed with a righteous knowing that capitalism is evil and that a society driven by equality is the only answer, these people begin to rise into a class they believe to be elite. The “all knowing” ones.
It is prudent to note that the Left side of Politics operates on the mantra of collectivism: we decide, you do. The Right side of Politics operates on the mantra of freedom of enterprise and freedom of personal choice. Vaccine mandates were a blunt reminder that freedom of personal choice was “off the table”.
When these leftist parties campaign, they appeal to the people in society who feel they are a victim to some form of oppression. First it was the workers, being oppressed by the industrialists. But slowly the list grew to take in the poor who had no healthcare and the unemployed. Then it expanded to minority groups, racial groups, the gays, the greens and finally gender confused.
In recent years, it appears that a tidal wave of illegal and undocumented immigrants were to be the next group of “victim voters”, all designed to prop up the parties’ fortunes at approaching elections. This has happened in the US, Canada and right across Europe. There doesn’t appear to be any other exploration for this recent and alarming phenomenon.
And all the while China, one of only a few openly communist countries, has been quietly infiltrating small and third world countries, binding them to capital debt and expanding their influence. Whilst the left see’s China as some sort of ideological bedfellow, they fail to understand the Chinese mindset. They will be discarded as soon as they are no longer of use. I am convinced that China will profit from a weakened America and may eventually turn its focus to a weak and unprotect Australia.
It is funny that some of my friends rant about the Billionaires destroying America, aka Trump and Musk. What they fail to see is the billionaires like Soros and Fink and others who are sitting behind the Democrats, intricately involved in every move.
Where is the Media?
Corporate capture of media is not new. Government capture of media is also not new. In Canada for example, Government is a major provider of finance to the legacy media. In the US and Australia, many media companies are owned and controlled by mega sized equity funds, like Black Rock of which Chairman and CEO is Larry Fink.
These media assets under the ownership of people like Fink are led by ideologues and employ leftist aligned editors and journalists. They operate to serve a given narrative, not to report balanced news. The funny element is to watch their accusations toward and criticisms of Fox News, owned by a right-wing Industrialist type.
And to be fair. I am not a great fan of Rupert Murdoch. Some of his newspapers have assassinated the character of many good people in the name of a “story” that will sell papers.
A Note on Isreal:
Isreal is the recognised home of the Jews. Some of the wealthiest people on the planet are part of the Jewish community. A Jewish state with a Conservative government is arguably a problem for the Globalists. Their technological and military prowess is something to behold.
This may explain the unlikely and confusing stance of the Universities in supporting Hamas following the October 7 terrorist attacks.
The World Economic Forum
Once enough intelligent people were fully indoctrinated into Marxist Ideologies, with seductive slogans about equality, and once enough of them had become career politicians, the World Economic Forum masterfully brought them all together to create an elite political class.
Justin Trudeau is a great example. With great charisma and good looks, he swept into power and progressively destroyed his own country by shutting down their natural resources, blowing out the National debt and demonizing and freezing the bank accounts of good citizens who stood up to him. It has become so bad that Quebec is likely to hold a referendum on cessation following their next provincial election.
Right across the globe, Leftist Governments are using the so-called climate crisis to usher in profound change that are escalating living costs and inflation, whilst appealing to the masses that it is all for the greater good.
Australia, with its gas reserves, should be even richer than it is, and our energy costs should be among the lowest in the world.
But instead, we are spending billions of dollars on renewable energy systems that are both inefficient and polluting.
This group of elites call themselves Globalists. Their aim appears to bring all governments under the control of a single ideology so that they can be ordained as the true rulers of the world. This is the outer limits of delusion, driven by a savage lust for power and status.
About Climate Change
First, I consider myself to be an environmentalist. I want the logging of old growth forests in the Amazon to stop and I want to remove all the chemicals from our soils and waterways. But I am definitely a carbon denier.
Carbon is not pollution. It is plant food. Some simple figures would bring any rational person to their senses.
First, when dinosaurs roamed the planet, atmospheric carbon was measured at about 3,000 parts per million. The earth was warm and very green. Central Australia was all rain forest.
In 1980, atmospheric carbon was only about 380 parts per million. A few hundred thousand years ago, it got down to about 180 parts per million. If it dropped to 150/million, all plant life on the planet would have vanished. As the ice age began to subside, carbon levels again began to rise, and the planet once again began to green.
Now the level is about 400 parts per million. That 20 point rise in the past 45 years has been accompanied by a 15% increase in the greening of the planet. More plant food, more plants.
Temperatures will rise slightly. This may put more people at risk due to extreme heat. But conversely, less people will be at risk due to extreme cold. Humans adapt.
For anyone to believe that this 20-point rise is due to industrialization, they must first be in denial of the myriad of other factors that may also cause an increase in carbon, all of which were responsible for carbon rising from 180 parts per million to 380 parts per million, as we emerged from the ice age. And FYI, many climate scientists believe we are still not yet completely out of the last ice age.
As an old friend of mine said recently, “Forget about Climate Change. Worry about the Politics of Climate Change. That is where the evil and destruction lies.”
To keep the “climate alarmism” alive, governments needed to put on a show with a string of climate catastrophes. Fires are easy to engineer if one wanted to. Creating policies that prevent back burning ensures a build up of highly volatile fuel.
Storms and floods are a bit tricker. I used to think talk of chemtrails from commercial jets was fanciful conspiracy theory. But now we know it has been confirmed. Governments have been working to manipulate the weather.
I wonder how many of those extreme weather events may never have happened if it were not for climate interference?
Elon Musk
If all that I write here is in any way true, then one could argue that Musk saved the world. His purchase of Twitter and restoration of Free Speech, along with the revelation of the deeply sordid and evil government interference with information sharing, placed a heavy handbrake on the leftist agenda.
Further, his exposure of their activities made many people stand up and notice. Soon after, many abandoned their Democrat roots and changed sides. Without this, Trump may never have gotten back into office.
Many criticize Musk as some power drunk mega billionaire hell bent on world domination. I have listened to countless long form interviews, and I see a man who loves his country and the world, I see a man appears to have a rock-solid moral compass, who wants to inspire humanity and do all he can to ensure the future of the human race.
But as I noted earlier. When I hear people criticize him, all I hear is their own confessions of their unhandled transgressions. I wish them well.
The Trump-Putin Factor
Perhaps the wave started with courageous and outspoken Argentinian Prime Minister Javier Milei. He called it all out, loudly and brutally, with expletives embellishing the passion and power of his message. He crushed the globalists in Argentina like an elephant stepping on a watermelon.
We then saw Giorgia Meloni win office in Italy, whilst Romania’s Calin Georgescu and France’s Marine Le Pen are being blocked by a weaponized legal system.
The same thing nearly occurred in the US where the elites, desperate to stop Trump, weaponized America’s legal system to prevent his run. It didn’t work.
Now that Trump is in power, everything is changing quickly, and the elites and their followers are screaming blue murder. I think they misunderstand he may be saving the country.
A note about Trump. No man is a perfect human being. Trump may well have done some things that were immoral and unethical in his time. He has been accused of many things. But he has also built companies and employed many thousands of people. Who knows what actions he may have taken out of self-aggrandizement or fear. But I also know that every person has the capacity to reform and to clean up their act.
One friend said to me, “He has not owned what he did, and he has not repented for it.” I responded with, “He doesn’t have to do it that in front of you. He may have done it with his wife, or a priest or a close friend. He may have decided that from here on in he is going to atone for his errors but serving for the common good. I don’t know, but neither do you. Just the same as that we do not know if Bill Clinton ever owned what he did to Monica Lewinsky.
I have a strong sense that Trump at his current age is a vastly different man to who he was years ago. But it seems that many Democrat supporters refuse to give him the benefit of their doubt. Perhaps his loudest critics are those who are still desperately asserting their own self-proclaimed virtue.
Through all of this, I never understood the Ukraine war. Why has America been so hell bent on agitating Putin? Why are they so desperate for war with Russie. In all of this I see Ukraine as America’s pawn in a mysterious war.
I used to believe it was just the neo-conservatives (neo cons) agitating for war to keep profits flowing into the US Military Industrial complex (of which Black Rock is a big shareholder). However, I never understood how both some Democrats and some Republicans in the Senate were so aligned on their funding of wars.
But a few days ago, I heard something on a brilliant podcast interview that answered my question.
The two most powerful men on the planet who are most vehemently opposed to the Globalist agenda, are Trump and Putin and everything is being done to prevent them forming any type of alliance.
But Trump arrived in the Whitehouse well prepared this time. He is cleaning house, eliminating these unwelcome forces from the US Government,
And I can understand why he forges ahead so unrelentingly. The Globalists are not going to lie down and give up. They appear to be doing all they can to keep fueling the Ukraine war and doing all they can to undermine his leadership at home.
The allegations of him being “Putin’s Puppet” reveal a great deal when you take a moment to contemplate it.
This Globalist wall of power has been laying down its roots for a long time. Many are in it for the long haul. Others, however, perhaps got swept up in it and have stepped back. Recently the owner of the Los Angeles times, Dr Patrick Soon, fired his editorial board and set a new direction for the newspaper to deliver balanced reporting.
People like Bari Weiss, former New York Times columnist, a Lesbian Mom and devout Democrat, showed up when fired for questioning the narrative of her employer and its editors. She and her wife established The Free Press, one of the most balanced news sources on the Internet.
But perhaps it all began with Joe Rogan, the world’s biggest podcaster, and arguably the most powerful media person on the planet. Another life-long Democrat who opened his airwaves to everyone, giving the world access to an extraordinary array of perspectives, creating a space where narratives could be openly questioned.
The Rise of Masculinity
It is interesting to note the powerful masculinity we see in Musk, Robert F Kennedy, Trump, Milei, Hegseth, and Rubio.
It is clear they rode in to do a job with no interest in trying to please anyone. In them, I see a fierce level of guardianship for their countries.
Powerful Masculinity includes a deep level of care for emerging and unborn generations. It will lay itself down so that others may survive. It is courageous and heroic, without seeking the status of hero.
Powerful Masculinity restores safety and eases suffering. It restores order, protects and then nurtures, always mindful of threat prevention.
Over the past 15 years, any demonstration of masculinity has been labeled as toxic. The Globalists and many on the left are terrified of it. They tried to crush it. But to crush it, you must kill it, and they failed to do that.
If you are game, I ask you to take a step back and take another look at Trump, Musk, Kennedy and many of the others. You may get to see that perhaps, these are the men who arrived to save the day, with some very powerful and formidable women on their team.
A Note from the Author: I have no clue whether I am right about all of this or not. I just felt it is worth putting my thoughts down and sharing them. If we fail to explore possibilities, we never learn and never evolve. I hope you found this article useful. If so, please share. And please consider becoming a paid subscriber and I will continue to share writings that I believe to be both topical and useful.
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Powerful.
Provocative.
Important.
How does one article manage to touch on most of today’s hot topics so seamlessly? It’s quite comprehensive, giving the reader the opportunity to explore other viewpoints and hopefully, courageously question what they already “know.” (Which is in my opinion, always a good thing.)
Thank you first and foremost for your willingness to do this yourself. For not getting drunk on your own knowing…but practicing what you preach. I see you when no one else can, and I trust you where I can’t.
Thank you for your care and devotion to the world…for being such a diligent, courageous seeker of truth, and for all you do to help all you can, especially men take back their place.
We women need them.
I’m supremely grateful for the guardian heart you have for me, and the strength and safety you provide.
It’s a gift I long for all of my sisters to experience.