Some Thoughts from a Morning Run

Thursday July 17th, 2025

I was out running on a beach path this morning. I went past an older man, a heavy-set man of what appeared to be Mediterranean appearance. We acknowledged each other and continued on our way.

After turning around, and on my way back, I went past him again. This time as we acknowledged each other, we shared a smile and a deeper connection. In that moment I could feel him, a huge heart, a profound capacity for kindness. But I also felt an incredible capacity for stubbornness, harshness and unreasonable thinking in different circumstances.

I realised there is profound goodness in people, but when they step into different situations, they slip automatically into a different identity, an identity that gives them operational confidence in that circumstance. The problem is that the switch is so automatic that even they do not notice it. “This is just the way I am!” becomes a controlling belief.

This is sobering. When I think of the labels I put on people, my judgements, am I judging who they are being, in that moment, an identity that may be beyond their conscious control, or am I judging them for who they really are. In most cases, I’d say I am judging an identity and not the true person.

I ask myself, can I stretch further in my perceptions, to connect with who this person really is, or am I going to satisfy myself by identifying who I believe they are being in a moment.

This gets even tricker when a person who, in some identity adventure, may have done some offensive things in the past, but who has taken responsibility, cleaned up their act, integrated the experience, and is now more aligned with who they really are. Do I stop myself from seeing who they really are because of an old judgement that served me once, that I am still carrying with me.

Learning to “Live Deliberately”, as outlined by Harry Palmer, is learning to be more of who we really are and not succumbing to the deception of our own identities, and to realise that other people are not their identities, and that with patience, appreciation and compassion, we can go beyond what appears to be to find the wonderful human spirit that lies beneath.