They say that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. That may well be true. We have seen it many times, but I’d argue we have also seen cases where someone has had absolute power and has used it with reverence, grace, and a commitment to service.
Perhaps Mandela and Gandhi fit into that category.
But I am interested in something more subtle, pervasive, troublesome.
Most of us like a little bit of the spotlight from time to time. Receiving recognition, praise and other forms of positive attention gives us a warm glow. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is a nice feeling. It feels best when it comes unexpectedly following our best efforts in some action or initiative.
In those moments, we can feel like the “king of the castle”. An aware parent will allow a child to enjoy that space for a little while but also not allow them to stay there too long. It is not the goal of life, but a temporary reward of recognition for effort.
Competition and Winning
Competition can be a wonderful way to bring out the best in human beings. Athletes deliver their best efforts in a competitive environment. Businesses tend to do better when they have a strong competitor. The competitive space inspires creativity, ingenuity, hard work, and diligent attention to building skills, learning, and perfecting.
However, competitive urges can become ugly when it becomes a personal contest where one person becomes obsessed with a quest to defeat and/or dominate others.
We have seen this where athletes use violence in the field of play, or where businesses have used unethical practices, or indeed where people have spread scandalous lies and rumors about someone they see as a rival. This is no longer competition. It is a form of war.
The Human Ego
We often hear people say something like, “Oh he’s got a huge ego.” It has probably been said about me. And I know I look back over my life and I cringe at how big and ugly my ego has been.
But we can’t simply dismiss the ego. It is a significant and important part of who we are and who we are striving to be. If it was not for someone’s ego, we would not have our grand cultural landmarks, some of our greatest art and some of our most celebrated achievements.
Ego’s create big. Where the ego gets a bit ugly is when it experiences success and begins to get lost in some form of self-importance or omnipotence and loses all its humility. The gift it gave with its creation is now stained by the savage theft of attention from others.
See your ego is not who you are. It is who you might be “being” for a while, but it is not the place to hang out for too long. A nasty crash is coming if you stay there too long.
It is refreshing to read Harry Palmer’s thoughts on the human ego. (Take your time reading this. It is incredible and should not be skimmed over). I will place a link at the end of this article.
A wonderful way to temper the ego is to engage in acts of humble service. Put yourself out for the benefit of others, for no recognition or reward.
I guess there are three things to note. When a person appears to be giving a lot, then their actions are probably not ego driven. When they are taking a lot, then it is probably all ego. And when they keep telling you how much they are giving, they are actually taking. They are after your admiration and perhaps even your adoration.
There are some signs that you can look for, in yourself and in others. Some people have such a low opinion of themselves that they feel an almost obsessive need to assert themselves for fear that you will see them the way they see themselves.
One strategy is to demand attention. There is an addiction to constant, affirming attention. They will demand attention in a room and are likely to dismiss or attack anyone who might draw attention away from them. If attention is drawn away, then the fear arises that they are being judged negatively and dismissed, the same way their own mind behaves.
This person’s ego has grown from deep insecurity, and it will steal power in any room. And their presence and actions can stir things up for others. When we get stirred up by the actions of these people, it may reveal the presence of similar, unintegrated attitudes in our own minds. This might give you clarity as to what happened to Will Smith when Chris Rock made a joke about his wife.
When a deeply insecure person is voted into public office, they should be monitored, because they are potentially dangerous.
Prior to Television
Back n the days before Television, only a few really got to achieve fame in societies. It was normally reserved for successful sports people, politicians, radio personalities, screen actors, successful musicians and authors, war heroes and notorious individuals like criminals.
When Television arrived, those people had their fame amplified, and a new group arrived known as television personalities.
Occasionally people gained a bit of notoriety when they got their picture in the newspaper, but that was about it.
But as television grew, things changed. Citizens stopped going to political rallies in town halls and began watching the candidates on TV. Politics went from voting for a local representative to being swayed by the stylized personality of party leaders. Voters began being seduced by clever image marketing as opposed to seeking to find people with integrity who would seek to represent their interests.
Sports people, actors and musicians gained huge notoriety as they were broadcast into lounge rooms. David Frost once said, “Television is a medium where you are entertained in your loungeroom by people you would never allow into your loungeroom”.
From Good to Powerful
Following the Second World War, Governments across the world embarked on a quest to re-build where destruction had visited, and to build more in other places. In Australia, the quest was to build the country and the “Great Australian Dream” of a home in the suburbs became the quest of every citizen.
People worked hard, and through the influence of Judeo-Christian teachings, the quest to be a good human being underpinned this goal and the goal seemed to materialize by the mid 1970’s. A new goal was needed, but it never really arrived.
Television filled us with brand new hopes and dreams which included new cars, bigger homes with many appliances, expensive clothes and travel. A desire for wealth grew and for some, it became an obsession. The new, unstated goal became wealth building.
And there is nothing wrong with wealth, but the pathway many took may have done them more harm than good.
Wealth meant power. New forms of competition emerged as normal citizens began a new quest to be better than others. Rivalries grew in families and communities. Buying on credit replaced saving first and buying later. People began living on a new edge, a fine line between opulence and bankruptcy.
Image took over from character as the measure of a person. People began deserting religion as their transgression riddled lives probably made church attendances too uncomfortable.
The quest changed from becoming a better person to becoming better than everyone else. The addiction to notoriety launched a new wave of fame seekers, all ego and very little substance.
The traditionally conservative share market became the stomping ground of the new wealth game as entrepreneurs created empty companies with glossy brochures and slick looking offices to suck money out of willing investors. The trusted security of the stock market became little more than a casino of gamblers, liars, and cheats. The ego was on a quest for wealth, with the odd grand gesture of giving money to the poor.
Being a good person took a back seat to the lure of being rich.
And as television and travel opened people up to becoming more worldly, Politicians had to expand their game. Competition between countries became a thing. A combination of desire and resistance came into play as we wanted to learn more about other cultures, but at the same time, were fearful of differences. The Iron Curtain, Islamic States and the rise of China are shining examples.
Political leaders, with the aid of television, could use fear as a powerful weapon. And they are still using it today.
A Note About Integrity
Remaining in integrity with ourselves can be a daily battle. Knowing what the right thing to do is, and then doing it, can be challenging and difficult, and may require risk. You are not human if you do not breach your own integrity from time to time.
When we get a bit lost in our ego, we do things that are not quite kosher. But later, we reflect and realise, and we clean it up, make amends and commit to being better in the future.
If we don’t clean it up, then we must continually justify our actions to ourselves. This creates a busy and calamitous mind. This can lead to an even bigger expansion of the ego as it must demonstrate to the world how honest and honorable it is.
But stopping, re-embracing our humanity and our humility, we can admit what we did and take action to repair the damage. It may be as simple as apologizing to someone.
Confession in the Catholic Church was good for such times.
And it is worth noting that the things we do to compromise our own moral code can be something as simple as thinking nasty thoughts about someone or judging them harshly in our own minds. In those moments we hold less than honorable intentions toward those people.
The Internet – New Platforms
None of the science fiction writers predicted the Internet. With it came new dimensions in creative power and after less than 20 years, we had Facebook, closely followed by Twitter, YouTube and LinkedIn. Later came Instagram and a raft of instant video apps. Suddenly, ordinary people had a new platform to create notoriety and fame.
Politicians also had new platforms. New ideologies grew and the message had to get out, seducing voters in an ongoing quest for the ultimate power, being voted into office.
But this power is like an addictive drug. The ante keeps going up and the problems and accompanying grand solutions just keep getting bigger and bigger. Wars, financial crises, pandemics, and frightening predictions about the future are all used to trap the voting public deeper in fear and subservience.
And now as loud voices broadcast their fantastic messages across all the platforms, society begins to divide into groups and competitive struggles between families and neighbors create chaos as all humility is lost and the struggle to be right, to win, and to hold the moral high ground rages.
People everywhere are fighting to stand out and be “more special” than their peers, their family and their community fellows. Social Influencers abound.
Political movements are becoming like cults. Alternative viewpoints are to be crushed. Current day people are being attacked and pilloried for things that happened generations ago. People are working out how to gain power by being a victim. Others are parading what they call mental illness as a nobility trait. And of course, others are jumping on board the transgender platform, a space that is very real for a small group of gender dysphoric people, to shame everyone else into giving them the recognition they believe they deserve.
But for the most part, it is all egotistical attention seeking. All take and no give. Now, I am not saying any of these people are bad people. It is just that they are completely ignorant of the pitfalls of the ego and need to learn what it means to be humble, and to realise the power that comes with humility.
What is a Moral Code
A moral code is a deep sense of what is right and what is not right. It is not a parroted repeat of some set of rules handed down by someone else. It is a moment-to-moment thing, where we feel ourselves guided by an inner compass.
Sometimes, our moral code will have us push back against some rules because in a given circumstance, they may be harmful.
But we can’t just wake up one day and say, “I have a moral code”. It doesn’t happen like that. It is a life-long journey of learning lessons, some of them harsh, to hone that uncarved rock of desires and resistances, temptations and self-deceptions, into our own internal crystal ball.
I know I have done things in my life that my moral code would never allow me to do now. Do those errors make me a bad person, not at all. I am glad they happened because so much learning came from them.
Many people have bought into a doctrine of belief and run their life from that code. It may be a helpful code, but it also might not be. I believe most religions do genuinely attempt to give people a helpful code to live by, but still the individual must work to strengthen their own unique version of that.
All of this takes a life journey of experiences, failures, corrections from others and deep self-reflection.
Aligning yourself with a group and embracing their ideals, no matter how pure you believe they are, does not make you a moral person. Similarly, assuming the moral high ground based on some belief does not make you a moral person.
But when you get an inflated ego, then signing onto a set of beliefs and adopting the moral high ground gives you an intoxicating sense of power.
There I said it. If you find yourself sitting on the moral high ground around issues like gender, the environment or political ideology, then your ego is probably out of control and before long you will discover the raging fires of humiliation. If you cannot bear the thought of someone having a different viewpoint to you on these issues, then you are so far gone you might find it hard to get back to reality.
The screeching voices of LGBTQ+ (That plus is a bit scary), environmental apocalypse, The China Threat, the evil Patriarchy opponents, are no reflection of the reality of the genuine people living and working in these areas. They have been infiltrated and commandeered by unbridled egos with an unquenchable lust for power.
These people are dangerous. And when Political Parties tap into their influence, we are landed with policies that are abrasive, unattainable, and profoundly costly. The 2030 emissions targets are a prime example.
The Real Power
Real Power arrives in a moment of clarity about who you really are. When you arrive in this place, you can fully be you, able to observe the world but not react to it, often amused by the dramas of the world but not feeling burdened, able to choose where you wish to serve, assist, or even influence.
The journey to this place can be long, but it doesn’t have to be. But it is a road littered with many intriguing side roads that promise enlightenment, that turn out to be opportunistic peddlers selling costumes of identity, pretend guru identities and new ways to feel a bit superior to others.
Our egos love these backstreet marketplaces where we can add a new set of phrases, proverbs, and passages to our ever growing, highly evolved, sense of personal spirituality. The mind does love to pretend on its marvelous holiness.
The real journey comprises a few simple qualities: honesty, courage, persistence, compassion, curiosity and interest, all vital parts of the self-inspection needed to genuinely explore, discover, integrate, and grow.
Our darkest life experiences, we learn, are the breadcrumbs we laid along the path, and if we follow them with a loving and curious intention, we will find our way home to who we are.
When we arrive at this place, we are omnipotently powerful, but we never need to assert it or demonstrate it. We can live via our own intuitive guidance, motivated by our own re-discovered love for humanity.
This does not make life easy. But it does make it fascinating, enjoyable, and rewarding.
You have all the power you need, already. You just need to start digging under the rubble of your life to find where you buried it.
Sending you love.
If you’d like to read more, here is some of Harry Palmer’s writings.
In my opinion this is your best writing so far. I'm sorry JT, but I have had to resort to using the trite expression, "warm and fuzzy" as this is how I felt while reading this article tonight. Your ability to express your own deep thoughts while you journey into the ageing section of your life is a joy to share and I will certainly share this article, Blessings for Easter, Sue