What is the a-Gender Here?

Creating Genuine Equality in Workplaces

My Mum was baptized a Roman Catholic when she was 18 years old. She had always wanted to be a Catholic, but her path had been blocked by her devoutly protestant paternal grandfather.

His simple decree to his sons was that if any of his grandchildren became Catholics, then the son would be cut from the will. Finally, after his death, my Mum and her sisters could be baptized.

He died just 75 years ago, so at that time, discrimination was still strong and obvious among Christian religions.

Of course, we still see religious discrimination occurring in our own society toward Muslims, Jews, and many others. This discrimination still exists, although not as severely, among different Christian religions as it does between different Islamic groups.

And we still see the cultural conflicts between traditionally opposed ethnic groups. It is nowhere near what it was but in some areas it exists.

I remember going to the Soccer at Olympic Park with Croatian Neighbors in the early 70’s. When they played the Serbian Club, it was mayhem in the stadium. The hatred ran deep. It has softened greatly.

And in Australia, there is still deep tensions between many First Nation Tribes. The hatred and mistrust can create problems in workplaces if two people from opposing mobs find themselves working for the same company.

And I haven’t even mentioned skin color.

There has been so much for humanity to evolve through. And we are still going. It is a long and complex journey as people gradually integrate their fears, judgements, projections, and biases.

The ultimate goal, I guess, is for us to be able to simply recognise each other as fellow human beings. No labels! No identification of skin color, race, religious association, culture, or gender.

In a work situation, when you walk into the room, I want simply to greet you and to learn what you wish to bring to the table to further the work we are doing. That’s it. Over time, if we get to work together enough, I will naturally show more interest and I will want to get to know you more and learn about you as a person.

I love learning about what inspires people and I am deeply interested in how they wish to contribute to humanity, no matter how grand or how humble.

Perhaps one of the most enduring challenges our society has wrestled with is the gender divide. Women have struggled and fought hard to gain a sense of equilibrium with men in the workplace.

As we gradually throw out all the tired labels, worn out “role expectations”, absurd justifications and unearned entitlements, we can meet women in the workplace as a fellow worker, a teammate.

We no longer have any need to place any attention on gender. We are all just people.

But alas, there is an emerging group in society who wish to make everything about gender. There are now people who wish to identify as transgender, or no gender, or fluid gender, and who wish to present themselves as that and be identified by it.

I feel they are dragging us backwards into locking others into definitions that may well prevent us from seeing the whole person.

Last year a person who wished to join an organisation that I am part of and lead, stated a wish for me to know that he/they identify as non-binary and launched into a spiel about how everyone needed to learn to understand and accept it.

I contemplated that for a while and wrote back saying:

“I actually don’t give a fuck what you identify as. I want to know what you are here to contribute to the work we are doing. I am a man. I will never know or understand what it feels like to be a woman. So, I am not going to try. I am never going to know or understand what it feels like to be a gay man. So, I am not going to try that either. But I can love, respect, and appreciate both as fellow human beings. Now if you have something to contribute to the work we are doing here, then get on board. Let’s do it.”

He replied that it probably was not for him, so we parted ways.

I believe that an evolved and inclusive workplace should not need to place any attention on gender. We are nowhere near there by the way, but we can keep steering the ship in that direction.

And steering the ship means keeping it away from the dangerous shoals of self-interest.

Self interest and wanting to be special is a natural yearning for every human ego. But we all eventually learn that it is a hollow and meaningless quest. But alas, people through the ages have found ways to seek to create themselves as special, different, unique, or amazing.

But here is the brutal message. You are special, but you are no more special than anyone else. So perhaps it could be helpful to keep your differences, idiosyncrasies and earth-shatteringly defining qualities and remember you are just one human among many humans who is here to do your bit.

I hope I have not offended anyone. My goal is genuine equality in the workplace.